After every show I always get someone saying it would have been nice to see a picture of The Boy. And I often get the same request for this blog too. So I thought I'd explain why I try to avoid it as much as possible.
This whole thing was my idea. Despite me sharing all the details with him, I'm not sure how much of it he understands sometimes. But given he doesn't even know he's autistic, how can I expect him to make decisions as big as whether he wants his identity shared across the internet? I just know I want him to be defined as being more than just an autistic child. I want him to be defined for who he is.
There's another more simple reason too. The only reason why I'm writing this post is because it's 4am and he's wet the bed. Again. And then gone straight back to sleep the minute it's been changed while I sit wide awake listening to the foxes fight it out over a box of fried chicken remains from Morleys. Do I want my beautiful boy to be known to the world as a bedwetter? I'd rather not, but it's an important part of our life. Tomorrow I will be tired and grumpy and miserable and he will spot this and press all the right buttons to wind me up. So it becomes part of our story, but it doesn't define him as a person.
I don't want to compromise the reality of our situation by having to worry that what I write will somehow affect him. So, he's better off kept out of things for now. I'm not sure if any of this is making sense. It's 4am I don't know if I mentioned that. (The time has no relevance, only to create the illusion that I am an incredibly hard working single dad and so you think I'm an amazing human being. Don't be fooled, I'll just go back to bed once I've dropped him off at school, where I will remain until it's home time. Or they phone, whichever is sooner.)
For those who have an extraordinary desire to know what he looks like, I'll give you this clue. Take a look at the photograph of me that's on this site somewhere. Probably best leave it awhile if you've just eaten. Now shrink it down a bit. Then a bit more. And then another bit more. Meet The Boy.
This blog is about bringing up The Boy. He's 12 years old and autistic. It's written by The Dad. It's my words, my view. Other people will think differently and have different opinions. Good.