1. Repeat over and over 'it's just five days, it's just five days' while rocking on the kitchen floor and defrosting chocolate gateau in the microwave.
2. Contact the National Grid to inform them that the energy surge is perfectly normal for this time of year, it's just apparently someone needs to have every electrical device in the home turned on.
3. Recognise that 'sensitivity to noise' just means 'sensitivity to YOUR noise'. Their own noise is perfectly acceptable.
4. Try to convince someone that the sun won't melt them, that it might be quite nice to leave the home at some point even if it's just for fifteen seconds. Keep this up until Wednesday, then as a compromise suggest at least opening the lounge curtains for an hour.
5. Order some extra online shopping for Thursday NOW. Whatever supplies you think are enough won't be. Don't mess around with wine, there's no time for the 12.5% ABV to kick in. Spirits. Whatever's on offer. No mixer.
6. If things are going quite well, make sure you ruin it all on Tuesday by suggesting you plug in the hoover for five minutes.
7. To ensure maximum fun, try to coincide filling in your Disability Living Allowance renewal forms with the holiday period.
8. Sod it, why not give the Tax Credits Helpline a call too.
9. If the man calls round to read the gas and electric meters, pretend you aren't in. He'll spot you through the window when he calls again on the one afternoon you opened the curtains for an hour. Begrudgingly let him in and explain the carnage by pretending you've been decorating.
10. Make it to the weekend. Congratulate yourself. Then open the school bag and remove the rotting remains from last week's lunchbox. Discover the letter reminding all parents that Monday is an INSET Day. Sob.
This blog is about bringing up The Boy. He's 12 years old and autistic. It's written by The Dad. It's my words, my view. Other people will think differently and have different opinions. Good.