The Boy is having a Halloween party tonight with his friends. TheBoyWithNoEar and TheBoyWhoTouchesNoses are coming round for tea. After tea, they are going trick or treating. Now, The BoyWhoTouchesNoses doesn't like strangers. The Boy likes knocking on doors but doesn't like it when people answer them. And TheBoyWithNoEar doesn't like sweets.
So, here's the plan. I will drive my car along the side of the road. Every 15 metres I will pull over, and they will 'trick or treat' me. One at a time, through the passenger side window. I will act surprised, hand TheBoyWithNoEar some grapes. The Boy will ask me my name and I will pretend to be someone different. He will want a Trick, which means I will have to be rude to him and tell him a joke about poo. I can tell the same joke over and over, it doesn't matter. In fact, that is very much the preferred option. TheBoyWhoTouchesNoses will want sweets left on the passenger seat so there is no physical contact at all. The sweets must remain wrapped due to cross-contamination issues. I will then drive the car up the road for 15 metres, and repeat the same thing. For two hours.
So, if you see a strange bloke hanging out of a car in Lewisham giving kids sweets and calling them poo, don't worry, it's only me. Happy Halloweeeeeeeeennnnnnn!!!!!
The Boy flew back from Switzerland late last night. As the plane came to a stop after landing, the bloke in the seat in front turned round and told The Boy's mum that they were the most inconsiderate passengers he'd ever had sit behind him. She apologised, and told him that The Bot was autistic. His reply? "I don't care. You should train him."
The world is full of lovely, lovely people. And some right arseholes too.
The Boy loves dogs. Loves them. Far more than people. Today I'm off to look at one for him. I'm quite excited. There's lots written about autistic children and dogs, and the bond they have. I don't know why it is, maybe it's the lack of speech that makes things easier. It's a simpler way to communicate. If a dog likes you, it will sit with you. If it doesn't, it will become aggressive or ignore you. Very much like The Boy...
The Boy is currently away with his mum in Switzerland. Four days. It's the first time he's been abroad, and it's the first time I've been in a different country to him. I don't think I like it.
The Boy called me on Skype last night from Zurich. He likes the hotel, and he liked flying, despite it being one of his biggest fears for a long time. Something else conquered. He didn't like the television though. He said on the phone that the only thing you can watch is the News, because everything else they just talk "blababullah blafhr bluuuueeegggghhhhhrrrrrd".
The Boy is on his third school. He's 10. He has been excluded from the other two. This one is a special school, it makes it hard to exclude him. Even though he only goes to school for about an hour each day as that's all they can cope with. I've been desperate for the school to admit they can't meet his needs so I can find him a new special school. Today, a breakthrough at last! This is the wording of the Annual Review from the school:
"We have now reached a point where The Boy is unable to maintain his behaviour at school in order to access any learning. <School name> are unable to effectively support The Boy in managing his behaviour and meeting his needs. As a result of this The Boy requires a change of provision as a matter of urgency..."
So, it's a roundabout way of saying he's excluded. Again. This time I don't mind, I'm just grateful that he might still get an education somewhere. Now it's the fight to get him into the schools I want. But at least the first hurdle is cleared. Here we go.......
Hello lovely people. Or person. This is the first post. I find blogging difficult, so bear with me. I'm the new boy around here.
I've thought about wanting to write a show about myself and The Boy for a long time. In that sense, this show has been years in the making. I wrote it in a week in September, and first performed it to Anna, the director, a day later. I then rewrote it.
I performed two work-in-progress shows at the beginning of October at the Pleasance in London. They went well, far better than I ever could have hoped. Largely in part thanks to Anna's input. I'm really excited about this show. It's a pleasure to stand on stage and talk about something that genuinely involves me, excites me, and is me.
Every parent wants to be proud of their children and share their uniqueness and individuality with the world. I want people to understand The Boy, to see what makes him tick, what makes his behaviour so unpredictable and what, at times, can make him a difficult boy to like for so many people.
The show has jokes, lots of them. Maybe this blog will have the same humour too. I'm not sure. All I know is that, as with everything else, this is for you, son. It's all for you.
This blog is about bringing up The Boy. He's 12 years old and autistic. It's written by The Dad. It's my words, my view. Other people will think differently and have different opinions. Good.